Friday, February 28, 2014

An Idiot's Guide...The Beginning...first

   Is this on? Does this thing work?

   Well, I did it. Here I am. How, I have no idea. Why? Even less of an idea. Admittedly, the preceding is not the ideal way of starting a tale, but you deal with the card's you've been dealt. In my case the cards in question is an Uno deck that only had the red cards.

  So what is the purpose of this blog? Hell, everyone's got one and I sure am secure in the fact that I will ultimately be the only one reading the darn thing so my audience will be males who are in their late 30's, married and with a child.  To put it finely, my audience will probably just be me, and I'm okay with that.

   I will be dealing with the hard hitting and definitive issues facing mankind today. In so doing, I will be providing a guide to life from the eyes and mind (such as it is) of an idiot...namely me.  Questions dealt with will be many, an example of which is the proper placement of a toilet paper roll in the bathroom.  Should the roll be upward rolling or downward rolling? My wife and I have fought for years on this issue and, like with many other issues, she's won...so far.  She believes the toilet paper should roll from the top because it's..."inviting and welcoming."  Naturally when I hear such statements I wonder what the Radon level is in our house and maybe there was some sort of chemical imbalance that occurred while she was growing up.

   I've tried the rolling from top thing...I can't do it. I pull a little bit of it and the whole darn thing starts to unroll. And there I find myself trying to re-roll toilet paper back onto the roll and cursing something terrible. I mean you have to feel sorry for the toilet paper I'm rolling back onto the roll. Here it was being given it's big chance and it was ready for action when "BOOM! not so fast!" There it goes back onto the roll. What's it going to tell it's friends? How humiliating!

  My approach, of course is the correct one. Toilet paper should be rolled from the bottom. This creates a nice and easy "tear what you need" approach. Go ahead tear it with all your might. The whole thing will not unroll. Trust me...you know...the guy you don't know? Now, does it make me feel "inviting and welcome?" Heck no, but if I started to feel that way I wouldn't want to leave the bathroom, now would I?

  Anyway, there it is. The start of the blog. First issue dealt with. First day of the blog and already we've solved a problem. There's progress for you. Now don't you feel better for having stopped by?

Until next time, be good or be good at it!