I’ve just
about had it with my coworker Dundas. The
man just seems to exist solely for the purpose of making my life a living
Hell! What makes a person constantly taunt
someone just because they may be slightly more successful or having graduated
from a slightly more prestigious university?
I just don’t understand the source of the joy he finds in making me
regret my career choices day after day.
Perhaps I
should backtrack slightly. I am a doctor, but if you want to get fancy, my
official title is Chief Faecal Encephalopathologist with a fairly well known
hospital in Massachusetts. Dr. Dundas
(whose first name will not be included here because I don’t want to get sued)
is also fairly high up in his career food chain as a surgeon and he has,
coincidentally, some of the same patients I have, but for his specialty, which
is Embolectomy. We both attended a
hospital retreat last year and I absolutely wiped the proverbial floor with him
in the Doctor/Nurse sack race (those specializing in testicular surgery were
not invited for obvious reasons).
Well, ‘ol
Dundas didn’t take too kindly to the fact that I made him whimper has I held the
trophy aloft and he was left to rethink that whole donut eating contest he participated
in only two days prior to the race. But
since then he’s been seriously messing with me and making me wish I worked in a
different hospital. Sure, I can be
rather sensitive, but what would you do if the following abuses were being
thrust upon you?
First,
the post it notes in the gauze. There I was performing a complex appendectomy
on Mrs. Wiggins when I noticed a piece of gauze had been left in her body
during a previous surgery. I removed it,
of course, but on the gauze was a small note from Dundas saying that his spastic
colon diagnoses were stronger than mine.
Oh, that really bothered me. And
the widower Wiggins? Well, he didn’t seem to care a flipping farthing that my
feelings were hurt! It was just ‘me, me, me, my wife, how could she be gone!?’
and he cared very little for my torment.
And the
time I lost my car keys, only to have them mysteriously reappear inside Mr.
Barber’s cranium. I would have never
noticed if my car didn’t keep locking and unlocking every time Mr. Barber had
one of his ‘sneezing fits.’ And Dundas'
stupid trick of replacing the roast beef in my sandwich with samples from the
organ donor stock is simply childish.
Sure, it’s funny to see me take a bite of someone’s spleen when it’s
hiding underneath a piece of lettuce, but come on now, you’re acting so
childish.
But the
thing that really threw my game off was the incident with the medical
college. Granted, it was slightly funny,
but really Dundas' stupid stunt was terrible. There I was, demonstrating the
proper procedure for making an incision into an abdomen, when yep, you guessed
it, out of the cadaver pops up a live King Cobra. I mean, sure we’ve all been there before,
but the fact that it bit and killed Nurse Cummings really was too much. And there was Dundas, with his mask in his
hand just guffawing.
So to
you, Dundas, I say stop with the stupid practical jokes. So I beat you in a sack race. Get over it and
stop bullying me! Until then I’ll just
be careful to…
Be Good or Be Good At It!
No comments:
Post a Comment